Maan! 🤣

I manage to cook sometimes. Though you may not find it easy to eat my food (whatever I cook), especially if you happen to watch their preparation. Because I jumble up recipes. But mine is a better trial. Moreso since Budalangi, Chaos in the Kitchen shade light on the fact that I love to eat nice food. 🤗 Before, even man must’ve had a very lousy diet without the help of fire. Has someone got a different vote?

So an old friend of mine, Mark, coming late from work, needed to buy maize flour, preferably at a supermarket because he thought there the prizes were fair. So he found one of those mini retailers where stuff were displayed on shelves with one attendant or so to aid customers around. But Mark chose to help himself with the closest packet of flour, among several others on display, at the entrance. Taking along some eggs.

He says he just picked them and went straight to cash out. As the attendant handed him the change he got hesitant to take fearing it was less than he’d expected. But being a gentleman he decided not to inquire, for he also felt ashamed for having not asked his way about earlier. So, he wrapped the receipt together with the change, put them in his pocket and left.

Arriving home, he was just as eager to cook as much as he was hungry. Even the dimly lit den was the least of his worries. Ugali was just the usual, heat water to boil, add flour in bits, stirring till the mould stiffened. And the eggs; a walk-over any day.

But Mark was a senior bachelor. And he wasn’t spared of the sufuria (sauce pan) rule:

1. One sufuria for everything.
2. Alternate your cooking in mind of rule no.1.

And this is what my friend did. First, he fried his eggs then rinsed the same sufuria akaekelea maji ya sima. When water had boiled, he jumped into stirring as good as he knew. But he didn’t get far… The mould was sticky as f***! He couldn’t even pull the cooking stick off the sufuria. This happened the very instant he had added flour.

His first reaction was to add more of the flour perhaps to stiffen the mould. Nothing. He added and added, still nothing. So he figured that he could have picked the stubborn cassava flour which he had no idea how to prepare. Rumours had it that the particular one behaved almost the same way, for starters. But he wasn’t even a fresher in that. So? He decided to put the already fried eggs into the sufuria — the idea was to use a spoon to mix it with the mould — so he could consume his meal right from pan. Ama namna gani? No one was watching.

Yuck! The stuff couldn’t be chewed. Leave alone being swallowed. Waradhis?! Disgusted, he picked out the bits of eggs that hadn’t mixed with the flour. Threw the pan out in the dark. Closed his door and and went to sleep.

It wasn’t until he had seen his neighbour’s hens struggling to eat from the dreadful sufuria the following morning that he begun to reflect on the previous night’s ordeal. What had really happened? He watched as the hens got their beaks stuck in the mould alike his cooking stick. And laughed at their desperate attempts to break free. What was in the flour? Or which flour was it?

About that time an idea strikes him to check on the packet of the remaining flour. Unga wa Ngano, one side read. Fortified Baking Flour. Come on! How? Then it hit him that he hadn’t asked the attendant for assistance. And maybe that’s why the change had startled him. The maize and wheat flour prices varied.

When he came to me this is what I told him…

Mr., when you find yourself in a strange place, do not hesitate to ask for help. Mostly, on the size of pampers, pads or even the choice of electronics. It can save a lot. Swallowing that pride couldn’t be that hard, could it? Plus once in the shop, you ain’t expected to know everything… or act like you to know a lot… just play along.

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Wewe pia umewahi pika ugali wa ngano? Or has something of this sort ever happened to you? How did you work around it? Hit me up and let me know..

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Another tip, never press avocadoes to see whether they’re ripe. Kama ni ngumu uliza mama mboga akuchagulie. Usibonye. 😆

Have a fantastic weekend!

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